I have absolutely no problem sleeping. My head hits the pillow each night and I'm out in 10 minutes or less. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I can fall right back to sleep. I can also fall asleep anywhere-- airplanes, classes/conferences, church, movie theaters, etc. You name it; I can fall asleep there. This sounds like a dream right? Well, it some cases it is. Take the airplane for example. When I was flying to Sweden to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I slept probably 8 out of the 10 hours we were on the plane from Salt Lake City to Paris. And when it's not a dream? Well, just keep reading...
When I was a freshman at BYU, all the "Susie Schoolwork" characteristics that I had developed during well, K-12, went out the window. I was staying up super late, hanging out with friends all the time, waiting until the very last minute to do my homework, skipping classes occasionally. No, these are not things I'm proud of, but not necessarily things that I would go back and change. Anyway, I had a really hard time staying awake in classes, and church, and watching movies, and pretty much any other time where I was not moving. And actually, I continued to have this problem even when I would get enough sleep! It was a real struggle. Five-ten minutes into a lecture and I was out. I tried everything: eating and drinking during class, doodling, pinching my sides, holding my feet off the ground, taking notes. Nothing was working, so I just decided to embrace these nap times.
Every Tuesday morning at BYU, a campus devotional is held at the Marriott Center. And it was during one of these devotionals that I experienced one of my most embarrassing moments. Not necessarily because the situation was embarrassing, but more because of the way I reacted to it.
So, I met up with my best friend since 5th grade, Elyse, to attend the devotional. We walked into the enormous facility, which was pretty full, and were lucky enough to find just two open spots next to the stairs about half-way down the lower half of the room. It was a woman speaker, which I admit I sometimes have a hard time with because many women church leaders use strange intonations when they speak and it doesn't sound at all like normal talking. My mind began to wander at about the same time the lights dimmed. It was crowded and warm in there. I snuggled down lower into my seat.
Next thing I know, I was waking up. But I was confused. I slowly opened my eyes... Wait a second. Where am I and whose shoulder am I on? Oh. My. Gosh. The reality of the situation dawned on me: I am sleeping on a random person! What do I do!? And I wasn't just gracefully leaning on this person, which I vaguely remembered was a guy. I had totally taken residency on his shoulder! Like full-on nuzzled into his neck, completely asleep. Oh no, have I been drooling? Snoring? How bad was my breath? All these questions ran through my mind as I made my decision about what to do. I slowly raised my head up, I'm talking like slow motion action movie here, without even glancing toward him. Maybe if I pretend it didn't happen, it would go away...
I sat in my seat on pins and needles determined not to move, counting my blinks, using every ounce of self-control not to glance his way. The mental and physical strength needed to maintain this stillness started to get the better of me. My blinks became slower and slower, heavier and heaver...
Again, I found myself waking up... on this guy's shoulder! I couldn't believe it! This was absolutely the most horrible thing. I can't let him see my face. He can never know who I am. I decided to repeat my original strategy: pretend nothing happened. I slowly picked my head up off my new-found pillow and sat straight forward. I chanced a glance at the clock on the opposite wall. Four minutes. I can survive this for four minutes.
The devotional ended and I was up out of my seat before the closing prayer's "Amen."
"Go, go, go!" I whispered to Elyse and I shoved her out of the row and up the stairs, never looking back or slowing down.
Who this guy is remains a mystery. Whether or not he was sitting next to his girlfriend remains a mystery (oh, murder me...). Why I didn't just look at him and make a joke about it remains a mystery.
But Shoulder Pillow Man, if you ever read this: Thank you, and I'm sorry if I drooled.
And note to myself: Thank you for finding yourself in this predicament before the age of selfies and memes.
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